Wednesday, October 05, 2011

The Adult Problem

Some weeks ago, my sister told me one of her girlfriend is suffering from acute depression and she tried to kill herself.

This surprised me because we know this girl as she looked always so happy and positive. She always comforting other people. From her case I realised that people who looks happy doesn't mean they are really happy from inside. I had a girlfriend who was always complaining and looked unhappy, but it doesn't really mean she suffers more depression than the people who look always happy.

I am having a moody evening tonight. Maybe because the lack of sleep. Recently I often wake up in the middle night after one or two hours sleeping.I know lack of sleeping will cause depression. So I thought to write down is good to let the mood out. I don't know whom I should to talk with, I am not a person who likes to tell negative things and problem to other people. In real life, I am a better listener than problem talker. Even to my sister, I find it's hard to talk my problem to, because to my sister and the rest family, I seem always strong and independent, they think I can take good care of myself.

I find it good that I have this blog to write my problem, to give me a place to express my feeling.


  1. Hi Ling Ling,

    Yes, I think you have a lot of things in your life which can give you moments of a low mood -- from my own experience also, besides that they are well known.

    As you say, you lose sleep because of your work and maybe other concerns, and also switch time zones suddenly, and over again. Your husband and best friend is away. You live in a country which is still new to you.

    All of these things, and related, exist, so I think you are doing very well, and that it's also natural to have such moods come. That you can recognize and understand them well is your big advantage.

    I thought a little about what to suggest. Exercise, even taking a walk in the town, can help, and so does the fact that it just gets you out to see people going along in their own days.

    Probably there is a community social place also nearby, where people come in and have a snack or a coffee, talk a bit, often bring their young children. In Basel we had a nice on which was made up of an old bank. There were many interesting evening programs, all the talents and interests people have which are not so commercial. You might enjoy some time, and perhaps make some acquaintances or friends in such a place -- and again, get to know the community of people in their more real and interested times.

    I think writing in the blog is also an excellent way to express, and sometimes get thoughts from others.

    Anyway, I am thinking of a Korean phrase, 'sim sim handa' which covers such moods, and implies how just ordinary time with other persons is part of life, thus something we should have. We often don't recognize that enough in modern, more 'Western' days. But it will come back to us I am sure also.

    As far as your sister's friend, well, there are more serious forms of depression which a few persons are susceptable to, even though we don't know that of them. My sister is a little that way. There are good ways a physician doctor can help, if that occurs, because it is a matter of personal chemistry, so such persons should know there is help they can have.

    Anyway, again, I often feel you are doing quite well, Ling Ling, and that you should relax and appreciate yourself for it. Take a smile from me, and now I will go out and about in my own day ;).


  2. Anonymous5:01 AM

    Hi Clive, Thanks as always for your comments and the suggestions. I was very moody at those days because lack of sleep and I took too much burden on myself. But now I give up the things I can not take and try to relax myself, which is very good. I talked to my sister and my family about my problem. It helps a lot. Now my sleeping problem is solved and my good mood is back again:-).

    From this experience I found talking to other people is so important and good sleeping is even more important.

    Thanks and best regards,

  3. Really glad to hear it all, Lingling, and I send to you another smile.

    Best also,

  4. Anonymous11:13 AM

    It is called a "vicious circle"; you feel depressed so you cannot sleep, making matters worse.

    When in trouble, talk things out with trusted friends.

  5. maybe it's just the season. My friends suffer seasonal depression around this time of the year, when daylight is significantly reduced and some days are gloomy to begin with.

  6. Hallo and sorry my engl. is not so well. LiRong you can be shure, not only your blog is a place for you to express your feeling. I´m your mother in law and I love you so much. You shout not be always strong and independent. You olso can talk to me too. We both only shut try it. Martin is away but we are here. You can come to us when ever you want. WE are waiting for you all day and you so so welcome.

  7. Anonymous4:03 PM

    Thank you Karin and all of you who left comments here. I am doing good now. I had couple of days for being thinking 'too much'.But now I feel good again. I am going back to Beijing today to spend half month holiday with Martin and my sister. I am looking forward soooo much....

    Thanks for all of your concern!